Pain of the Past
by Element12
Summary: When he comes back, so does the pain of the past and all the years building this wall will just crumble down. No. I wont let him. At least that's what Sakura thinks.
1. Preview

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Okay maybe the plot.

This is just a short preview type thing just to see if people get interested. This is my first ever fanfic so i hope its OK constructive criticism is welcome! Enjoy!

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"What the fuck are you doing with him anyway?" I hear him whisper angrily as I turn and walk away, something we're both familiar with. Although it was a whisper it seemed as if he screamed it out as it echoes in my head.

I turn to him and glare my emerald eyes dark and angry, "Because unlike you, he was there when I needed someone to hang on to. Because unlike you he would never leave me." I tell him slowly and precisely so he can understand and hear the anger in my voice.

"Well I'm here now. Leave him. I mean… look at you, you're all skin and bones, dark eyes and you don't even glow like you used to anymore. And since I've been back, I-I-I haven't seen you smile at all." He retorts angrily, raising his voice and this time it doesn't only echo in my head but also around us in the cool, quiet night of our confrontation of what happened in the past, what's happening right now and whatever is going to happen tomorrow.

I shake my head and laugh at him dryly at the thought of going back to him.

"What did you expect when you came back? Huh? That you were going to knock on a person's door, who let me add you haven't seen for seven years, and that when they open the door they'll welcome you with open arms?" I ask him in my confused and angry state.

"Look I-"

"Some people might do that but I won't after what I've been through. After what you did to me. It's just not that simple."

We stay silent for awhile, just looking at each other, remembering. But I can't stand it anymore so I leave and head for my front door and this time when I hear him whisper "I'm sorry" I don't look back because then he'll see the tears rolling down my face, see the pain in my eyes and I know if I show him that type of vulnerability everything will come crumbling down and I go back in the beginning, I go back to the pain of the past.

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-Element12 reviews would be most welcome hehe :)


	2. Pain

Might as well update since i got time.

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My eyes feel heavy as I wake up.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." I mutter to myself as i run my fingers through my hair and roll onto my stomach to cover my face then back onto my back.

I finally flutter my eyes open and work my way out of the twist and turns of my blankets. As my feet lands softly on the ground my eyes search for the red light indicating my alarm clock.

3:09 am.

"Three hours of sleep Sakura that's the most you've had in a night since he's been back." I sigh heavily.

One week since Syaoran's unexpected return. What I said to him earlier was utterly stupid! He wasn't even looking for me let alone knock on my door. This is just a sick joke of the past catching up to me but this time, whatever pain his return's brought back won't break down my walls. I won't let him.

Making my way into the bathroom to the mirror makes me groan at the sight reflected at it. Red rimmed eyes with dark circles, hair in disarray and pale complexion. I see someone I don't recognize, I mean Syaoran's right I'm just skin and bones.

Tears start rolling down my face and I ask myself again and again "What is wrong with me!?"

I crash down on the tiled floor, pull my knees to my chin and bury my tear soaked face crying harder and harder. Then i realize that the pain has already broken my walls and now I feel it everywhere especially through my heart.

"I can't do this anymore. Lord I really can't. It hurts too much." I beg still crying.

I try to get up but stumble due to the blur of my eye sight caused by the tears, so i wipe them away angrily and rush through my room and reach for the telephone and call the only person who will understand.

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I suddenly jolt awake from the sound of the phone and I panic cause that ringtone could only mean one thing.

"Hello? Sakura?" I ask hurriedly. And again I ask but all I can hear is sobbing and hiccuping.

"Sweetie? Sweetie? Talk to me, please." I beg her.

"It hu-rt-ss. That I don't know what to do." Her voice is soft and broken.

"Sakura. You're going to be fine okay? I know you will. You're strong we both know this. I just wan't you to remember that okay." I try to keep my voice leveled and control so she doesn't hear how scared I actually am.

I hear her take a deep breath and then ask her to tell me what happened.

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Reviews would be Amazing. hehe :)


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